I used to really struggle with stopping and approaching conflict.
The S-TLC(Stop, Think, Listen, Communicate) made me realize that I still
struggle with stopping conflict. I don’t like confrontation, simply because I fear
I will hurt someone’s feelings or I don’t want to say something I will later
regret.
I
think many people struggle with the S-TLC system, because in the heat of the
moment people don’t listen, or think they usually just react and say the first
thing that comes to mind. So, I think people that do struggle with not being
able to respond automatically and stop conflict, I think that they need to just
listen to and I always take a deep breath before I respond and I usually go “3,2,1,
1,2,3. I know it sounds silly but it helps me get through situations when I want
to scream at someone.
I think it is
always important in conflict, to think and consider where the other person is
coming from. On page 69 the S-TLC system talks about thinking, and try not to
take the conflict personally. I think that is key when conflict is occurring,
because people tend to say things out of anger, so it is important to not take
the conflict personal.
BrittVictoria,
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to your discussion post when you said that you used to struggle with the stopping and approaching conflict. I think that the main reasons I wasn’t able to stop when a conflict occurred was because I was young and less mature than I am now, I didn’t know how to handle conflict the right way, and I didn’t have anyone or any textbook to tell me what the correct way was to handle conflicts. I think that taking yourself away from a certain situation can clear your mind and help you to understand better. Great post!
Hey there!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that many people do struggle with this S-TLC system. I personally struggle with this as well. When I was younger I don’t think I ever really stop myself in a conflict. I would keep on going because I just want to get my argument out to the other person because I wanted to win. I have matured a lot since then and I find myself stopping in conflicts sometimes because I do not want to get too heat up in an argument. Deep breaths are good too because it does relax my, especially when I am so stir up in something. I also stop in order for the other person to chill out too. Anyways, good post this week!
Great post BrittVictoria! I relate to your post a lot because I also do not like to get into it with people for the same reason that I would rather take the easier way out and avoid the situation so I do not say something out of anger that I will later feel horrible for saying. I believe a lot of other people in general struggle with the same thing and I love how you made it a point to discuss that concept. Furthermore, people on the other hand let their anger pile up and then start yelling and saying horrible things because they do not know how to control their anger and appropriately handle a disagreement. It's also not silly at all that you count back because I admire the fact that you at least take a pause and handle a situation with maturity, keeping the other persons' feelings in check, which I believe plenty of people should take a tip from. Great job! :)
ReplyDeleteHi BrittVictoria!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right and I so easily relate to your post! We get so caught up in either the heat of the moment, or we just don't want to offend so we don't say anything...what I find that I do is that I don't say anything 95% of the time, and then that 5% is a heated argument! I need to be finding myself somewhere more in the middle where I say when things bother me, but I can stop and think about it and then listen to them. Your advice of deep breathing is a great pointer, because then we can gather our thoughts in a more kind and thoughtful manner. I think that we are all learning to be more aware of our relationships and conflicts because of this class, and hopefully we can take a lot out of it! Thanks for you post, you had a lot of great things to say!
HappyGoLucky
Britt Victoria,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that it is sometimes difficult to respond to conflict because of not wanting to hurt the other person's feelings or damage the relationship. I also agree that many people struggle with the S-TLC system because they just blurt out the first thing that pops in their head. This can be detrimental to the relationship whether the person means it or not. For me, stopping and walking away is the best approach. This gives yourself time to calm down and think about what the other person is actually saying. When a person is calm, the message they deliver is more likely to help resolve the conflict rather than hurt it.