When
I was younger I would say that I was more non-assertive and self centered
because I was more concerned with my self interests rather than other people in
my life. Now I feel that I am more
relationship centered, I am more willing to compromise, and accept responsibility.
I find myself taking communication considerations very often. Meaning, factors
that influence the choice of ones approach (Abigail & Cahn, 54).
At
times I find myself being non-assertive- with certain issues in my life I don’t
like talking about. I avoid the issue and the conflict, so just give in and
have the attitude you win I lose, so I don’t have to deal with the issue. I
feel that by being non assertive it is creating a bigger issue. On page 48, the
book talks about the person who is giving in is actually loosing, because “he
or she continues to be unaware that he or she has caused problems for others”.
I
think that being relationship centered is more beneficial because you are allowing
yourself to grow into a stronger communicator as well as developing your
communication skills with the relationships around you.
Brittany Victoria,
ReplyDeleteIn my past, I’m also someone who was following the self-oriented orientation. I was consumed with only things that I thought were right and let everyone around me know it. I didn’t care what the people around me had to say and really forced the issue with them. I thought it was interesting what you write about being non-assertive and agree with what you had to say. The most important part is knowing that it is better to do something about it and I feel like you do by what you stated in your post. Overall, I have become more relationship-centered and also feel like this is the best option. Nice post.
Hi Brittany Victoria,
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with a lot of things you said in your post. When I was younger I favored a self-centered viewpoint, and would be more involved in how I was feeling instead of someone else. Compromise is such a helpful tool in life to have, because issues that might have become catastrophic in the past are now easy dealt with and create such a happier life for us. Hopefully this class can help us speak our minds and learn that being a relationship-centered communicator is extremely beneficial. I like reading that we all have found as we have gotten older that we take more pride in our relationships than our own "egos".
Britt Victoria,
ReplyDeleteI like that you split up your life into different parts, like younger and older, because your conflict orientation has changed. When we are children, we are in the process of learning how to share and how relationships work. Children are also learning about themselves and how they work as well, which in a way, forces them to be a bit non-assertive and self-centered. As we grow old we understand the importance of walking the like between assertive and non-assertive while considering the feelings of others, which makes us focused on relationships. I feel that we should pick and choose our battles, which is why I agree with your occasional non-assertive approach. Great job!